« [ic inbox]

[pocketspa]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, TAAKO. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 420.87.169.02 *** coolertwin has joined 420.87.169.02 <coolertwin> wait <coolertwin> waaaaait <coolertwin> waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait <coolertwin> made ya look lol

text | file sending | action
anon usernames: < arcanistic >

Comments

Action - Bar in Bavan - Dec 11th

[thedifferencebetween]

[Even though he can't drink, Jack spends a lot of time in bars. He can usually get some batteries off of the bartenders, and he can watch people drink. It's creepy, sure, but he doesn't care. He doesn't have a mouth anymore, so yeah, he'll sit in bars and stare unblinking at random people who do have mouths and use them for all the normal mouth-related activities.]

[And sometimes it's worth it for other things. Rick hangs out in bars a lot. Sometimes other interesting people can be found in the local shitty watering holes. Plus, it was funny watching the really drunk assholes stumble around and make fools of themselves.]

[Of course, there was also the rarest of finds. Beautiful people that don't appear to be attached to anyone else. Usually Jack finds that in the underground fetish clubs - he knows the people there are there to bump uglies with some kind of monster. Normal bars? Not so much. Still. Jack finds himself noticing a particularly good looking guy at a regular bar. Like seriously good looking. Propaganda poster good looking. Hot damn.]

[Normal bar or not, robot or not, Jack's at least gonna send a drink over. Put out a feeler, so to speak. Just...not a literal one. Shit, if he'd known he'd be flirting, he'd have dressed a little snazzier than his Hyperion sweater and a leather jacket. Whatever. It's just a drink, he's just gonna send over a drink.]

[So he does. He parks his mostly metal ass on a bar stool a little ways down and sends over a drink. He watches for a reaction with his unmoving face, forever frozen in an amiable smirk. What's the worst that can happen? Dude takes offense at a robot hitting on him and causes a scene, Jack takes him out back and kills him. No big!]

[pocketspa]

[Honestly, Taako's coping with all this in his own way. On one hand, Lup is here and not dead and, okay, kind of a snake, but that's low on the freakout priorities list. On the other hand, he's magicless, down all of his resources, and also (in his opinion) gonna likely start becoming a snake too in t-minus a month. Frankly, not a fan of all that. He's spent his first week sticking close to his sister, feeling out the land, and finding out as much as he possibly can about this place. But it doesn't take long for him to become restless, nervous, and frankly a little pissed, so he decides to take a night out on his own. He doesn't know what he's looking for, what he's doing, or where he's going, but he figures he'll get as much mileage out of still looking like a normal ass person as he can.

He's got his head propped up at the bar, kind of pushing the ice around in whatever the hell he ordered- it was alright, though not as strong as he wanted for all the goddamn things he's feeling right now- when the bartender comes back over, sets another glass in front of him. As soon as Taako looks up to try and explain that if the barback is hitting on him that's not on his dime, when there's a pointed finger down the bar. His head tilts, eyes sliding over at the-- you know what, he's gonna go with man-- that brought this down to him. Taako raises an eyebrow, does a quick once-over.

Seeing as he's basically the last person who needs to be told that his face and some good eyelash fluttering can be exchanged for goods and services, he picks up the drink and takes a sip. This is stronger. Alright, he'll start with this. Even though he should probably be a little more wary- Lup did say there were monsters who wouldn't know he was off limits- Taako's not out here to feel like some waif that needs saving. He wants some agency, damnit. Let's do this shit.

So he relaxes his posture from where he's craned over the bar, rolling his shoulders back and rocking his hips to the side so his legs part a bit, and makes sure to meet the man's eyes again before looking down at the barstool next to him, and back.

Now let's see if he's bold enough to answer the call.]

<queenoficeolation>

[defyingfrigidity]

Taako?
It's Elsa. Ah, the nymph one. Not the lich.
I know this may be a bit sudden, but I have a question.
An offer, really???

<coolertwin>

[pocketspa]

theres a second one
how about that
anyway whattup buttercup

[get it, because, she's a nymph, and... yeah.]

text -> action

[scholiast]

Taako, are you up?

(To be fair, Lucretia does not give him a lot of time to respond to the message that she sends before she gets up from the loft and starts to trail down the stairs. Usually he is the one up in the middle of the night and not her. What a role reversal. She has no idea if he needs to meditate at all any more or if he's simply taken to sleeping, but either way she's in need of reassurance, which is why she reaches out. The luxury of being able to again is a little intoxicating. She can step down from the loft and along the rest of the house to get to his room and see him there, talk to him, whenever she likes. It's been a long time since she was able to indulge in that.

There is no strip of light underneath the door of his room. Lucretia places her palm gently against the wood, then opens the handle, poking her head around the door. She can't... quite see. That feels laughable, really. The addition of another set of eyes should only help her, but turns out neither pair can see in the dark, so. She just waits there, completely forgetful of her soft, golden glow, and waits to see if she can spot a bit of movement.)

[action]

[pocketspa]

[He's writing a response by the time she arrives. For the first month, he had spent every night curled around Lup, safe in the the thought she was there and back to him. But since the first changes and the realization that Taako was going to need more space-- plus Barry really, really wanted his bed back-- he obliged a room close by.

Taako's room isn't lit, and while his magic was taken from him, elves still see incredibly well in the dark. Maybe it's because he's still enough elf to call, or it's the monster he's becoming, but he doesn't especially need more than moonlight to handle himself. When she opens the door, his face is illuminated by his phone screen, but not much else. His legs-- still legs, for now-- are almost entirely covered in scales, nearly a month after their first appearance. Fog's coming soon. It won't be long now.

He tilts a head up, flicking an ear her way.]

Can't even wait for a text back, huh?

[He motions the direction of where the lightswitch is.]

What's up?

b-b-b-backdated

[restinglichface]

do u love me?

[pocketspa]

that depends
how much of this offer is an upfront bribe or an iou
and what did you do

<juno> 3/5 NOW THAT MY BRAIN IS SLIGHTLY LESS FEVER ADDLED

[junosteel]

[Look, when you go into hibernation for two months, you tend to miss a few important things — like the burning of half of Bavan, a bunch of people getting kidnapped by weird parasites and being replaced by them and then throwing a huge weird party, your partner-not-partner-it's-complicated disappearing into the night like you did to him more than a year ago and leaving you grasping for something that's just slipped through your fingers again. It's enough to make a guy feel like just going back to sleep again and hoping that somehow sleep will make everything feel better. That you can isolate yourself and skip over the passing of time and let other people bury what needs to be buried.

At least, that's what the old Juno would have done. As much as he's reluctant to admit it, Juno knows that being alone will just lead to him getting worse and snapping at other people, which is exactly the opposite of what he wants. Right now, all he needs is someone to hang out with without needing to feel obligated to tell them all his problems and just ignore that feeling of despair creeping up on the edges of his chest.

A few drinks might help, too.]

hey
you doing alright?
you still up for drinks?

[Yeah. Nailed it. Totally aloof and not desperate for company right now.]

<coolertwin> YEAH PLEASE BE LESS DEAD

[pocketspa]

[Man, if all that ain't a goddamn mood. Pretty much all of February was a ride Taako would have liked to get off of the entire experience- from the angry sick few days at the end of January, to the pained weekend of his second month transformation coupled with the icebox of the hospital, Lup and Lucretia disappearing for a fucking week... he has not been doing so great, fam. He's been sticking close, weathering his first hunt, and taking it better than you would imagine. Killing people right now is actually easier than handling his issues.

But the texts are the opposite of unwelcome- this kind of harmless, stupid fun sounds ideal in a world that still feels like shit. Thankfully, Taako's texting speed has improved between learning how and then growing claws, so Juno doesn't have to wait long for a response.]

and here i thought you mightve forgotten
love a guy who remembers he owes me ;)
gimme the where and when my dude

<teslacoils>

[terribibble]

I figure we maybe ought to have a talk.

<coolertwin>

[pocketspa]

well that depends
are we gonna talk about the corner of your brain thats elf horny
or the dinosaurs
i think theres a lot to explore in both

<C_137>

[peaceamongworlds]

I need Jack's dick

<coolertwin> 1/2

[pocketspa]

hang on
lets just put a pause on this for a hot minute
because i need to savor the absolute beauty of this message right here
just the artistry of everything that had to happen to lead to this precise moment
its fucking fantastic
its like its own performance piece
absolutely incredible

[madamdirector]

[ About a week after Lucretia's arrival, and shortly following this conversation, she leaves the following note where either Lup and Taako will be sure to see it. ]

Dear Lup and Taako,

Thank you so much for everything you've done helping me adjust here. It's been a lot, but you both made it so much easier.

I have to go away for a little while. I hope it won't be long, but don't try to find me. I'm not safe right now. But please don't worry, I can take care of myself.

I'll be back as soon as I can. Please tell Merle and Barry too, I love you all so much.

L.

[ She does well - only a single tear drips onto the paper, hastily blotted away before it can smudge too much. And then she's packing up her things, clothes and warm blankets and water and plenty of jerky, in a vain hope that it'll do something to satisfy the hunger gnawing in her belly, and she's on her way with just a single last, lingering look back at the house. ]

[action baybeeee]

[restinglichface]

[You know it's a normal monday night when the twins are just straight up hogging the living room, all wrapped up in one another, the long lengths of their bodies taking over every single piece of furniture in sight.

Oh, you wanted to sit on the couch? Nah, Taako's ass is on it. What about the nook by the window? Too bad, the very end of Lup's tail is curled up there cutely against the pillows.

This is payback for no presents, Barry. You aren't allowed to ever sit again.]

[barold]

[yyyeeeah, Barry hasn’t gotten to enjoy the living room in several days, completely and utterly punished for his gross oversight on their birthday, The Most Important Of Days. He’s been doing errands for them, running back and forth from the kitchen to the coffee table to keep them sated with a steady supply of drinks and snacks, but he’s over being punished now. He’s ready for forgiveness.

That means bringing gifts. And they better be good ones.

They’re certainly lively ones. There’s some banging and shuffling from the front door, a hiss and a quiet curse, and a weird mewling sound that certainly didn’t come from Barry Bluejeans. He enters the living room with scratch marks on his face, his ears pinned down against his neck, and a blanket all bundled up in his arms.]

Y-You guys doin’ okay in here? You, uh... [he takes in the languid, lazy display they make,] You busy?

<C_137>

[peaceamongworlds]

There once was a boy who was a Halloween fanatic. He loved dressing up for Halloween, he loved pulling pranks and watching horror movies, and above everything else... he loved candy. One fateful year, while he went trick-or-treating, he visited a house. This house was creepy as hell! It was big, it was old, it smelled like a grandmother and it was owned by a happy, old rich couple. The boy came here thinking that he would be handed out big chocolate bars, because it was a rich person's house but when he knocked on their door... he was handed a bag of that shitty candy that nobody likes! Tootsie rolls, shitty flavoured dum-dums, those weird... peanut things... needless to say, the boy was heartbroken. He was so heartbroken that he died, right there on their porch and now, every Halloween he goes out and finds people to curse. He wants everyone to suffer the same way he did!

Everybody is already suffering from his curse!! Send this to ten people to break the curse, or to avoid getting cursed, or you'll be stuck looking freakier than usual for the rest of your life!!!!!!!!!!

<coolertwin>

[pocketspa]

what

the fuck

< H.Jack69 >

[thedifferencebetween]

There once was a boy who was a Halloween fanatic. He loved dressing up for Halloween, he loved pulling pranks and watching horror movies, and above everything else... he loved candy. One fateful year, while he went trick-or-treating, he visited a house. This house was creepy as hell! It was big, it was old, it smelled like a grandmother and it was owned by a happy, old rich couple. The boy came here thinking that he would be handed out big chocolate bars, because it was a rich person's house but when he knocked on their door... he was handed a bag of that shitty candy that nobody likes! Tootsie rolls, shitty flavoured dum-dums, those weird... peanut things... needless to say, the boy was heartbroken. He was so heartbroken that he died, right there on their porch and now, every Halloween he goes out and finds people to curse. He wants everyone to suffer the same way he did!

Everybody is already suffering from his curse!! Send this to ten people to break the curse, or to avoid getting cursed, or you'll be stuck looking freakier than usual for the rest of your life!!!!!!!!!!

<coolertwin>

[pocketspa]

oh my god how many people are gonna send this to me

<marco>

[peccatore]

[Taako and Marco are neighbors. Marco is home right now. He could just go and talk to him in person.

But maybe, just maybe, he's a little hesitant to have the "Hey so you heard me admit I'm nuts, right" talk face to face.]

So

Hi.

<coolertwin>

[pocketspa]

[Look Marco, did anything about Taako ever suggest he was jazzed to have an emotional conversation face to face? Text suits him just fine, thanks. Not that he wasn't expecting this talk a little, after it all. Might give him a chance to get in some ultimatums of his own.]

hey hey man
whats shakin

[justbeingknife]

There's a gift left out at the Farmblaster! It has Taako's name on it and it seems oddly... large? Puffy? When opened, it appears to be an electric blanket. There's a note attached, signed by Majima:

You'll be a cat magnet with this baby. Don't let 'em chew on the cord, though.

shows up late with this

[pocketspa]

[Majima isn't left out of the gift giving either, especially for being a fun guy. He'll find a tin of cookies at his apartment, with an included note. It's not signed, but Taako's handwriting is hard to miss.]

don't worry, there's no chocolate for your doggy face ;)

<VIRGIL>

[nobirdsallowed]

You said a few months ago that I should do something with myself, right? Other than be a house servant.

My boss has just disappeared.

I'd take your suggestions since I'm out of a job.

<coolertwin>

[pocketspa]

hey there ya go
living life n shit
being...... i dunno something
still gotchu in mind if need a groupie though

Letter Delivered on Valentine's Day

[inseine]

[Javert has no idea who sent this practical joke but he has three guesses, so each and every one of them will find this delightful rejoinder sealed in a red envelope with a heart sticker on the back. The front of the envelope merely says HAPPY LOVE DAY. There is no signature.]

thank fucking god

[pocketspa]

[For once in his life, this one is ACTUALLY not Taako's fault. It's surprising, but it isn't. This letter, however, is so delightful it makes him lose it for 20 minutes on his porch, and if Javert ever comes over to the farm after this, he will find it legitimately shadowbox framed in the living room. It's a perfect, incredible shitpost and Taako will keep it until he permadies.

Thanks for the best Valentines ever, Javert, you're the real MVP here.]

<fishskin> - Feb 19

[ohnose]

hey snangel

how much does it take for you to teach new blood to hunt

let's talk rates

[he's still in a bit too much pain to care about his punctuation right now and honestly it doesn't seem like Taako cares anyway.]

<coolertwin>

[pocketspa]

[Taako has never once given a shit about punctuation and he doesn't intend to start now. He has claws, what is he supposed to do? Type? Bullshit. But this message is... an interesting one, to be sure.]

sooooo when you say hunt do you mean like chasing people down or like
meal prep
because ngl i get a loooootta my bods from other peeps
esp if you gotta eat meat
cant really jar souls or whatever but there can always be spare corpses

also you remembered snangel and offered cash so i am actually inclined to answer a question or two instead of just like
not
because it sucks and it will never stop sucking im warning you now

<PasUnPolicier> - Dated April 5, around dawn

[inseine]

[Address here], flat 1735. There is a fresh one in the ice box for your collection.

I presume you shall not allow the meat to go to waste.

Dated the day after gardening, let's say mid-June around the 15th 1/?

[inseine]

You are cold to the touch today.

Dated 6/16 2/?

[inseine]

Cool enough on this day that you render my undead fingers to ice.

<PunnyBone> Post-4th wall event

[lottabones]

So, how are the kinning fans of yours doing now?

[She lost an arm because of you and your sister but she has to check in on one of her first friends she made here.]

<coolertwin> i love u

[pocketspa]

[He's surprised anyone wants to speak to him after that fiasco, frankly. He would never say as much out loud, but he's fully expecting the more sensible people he's associated with here (Triffany included) to start publicly denouncing him. But hey, this is a private conversation, for all he knows she still will. It's still a surprise, regardless. But he won't say aaaaany of that.

Instead, he types this.]

i mean by the looks of it probably dead
or like
underground somehow idefk
they scattered pretty fuckin good after the whole deal so at least thats one thing off my plate chock full of bullshit

<SaltySeaman>

[069]

[Between one thing and another it's been awhile since Julian and Taako last spoke. Not since he offered to bark at the Tage for him, in fact. He hasn't seen scale nor hair of either twin since the whole, you know, dying thing, and he's beginning to worry. A bit.

Okay, a lot.

Which is why this message appears in Taako's inbox:]

Did our anonymous antiheroes ever escape the cultists knocking down their door, I wonder?

<coolertwin>

[pocketspa]

[Frankly, Taako's surprised that anyone's actually worried about seeing him at this point, seeing as most people are very, very angry at his everything. It's fading, kind of, but there's a reason he's been laying pretty goddamn low.

The text makes him grin, though. So sure. He'll respond.]

weeeeell yknow funny story about that
tons to be said for fancy monster powers but
you know what was the most effective
spoiler alert: its a truck
honestly i dont see why running people over isnt the answer to a lot of problems all things considered

holiday gift.

[sweartoyou]

[Taako will be delivered a plain box decorated with two ribbons: one red and one light blue. Inside the box is a series of five handmade toy fruits weighted like bean bags for juggling. The orange, apple, strawberry, lemon, and watermelon each have details and expressions stitched in and will produce a muffled jingling sound.]

[pocketspa]

[She will absolutely get a picture of him a couple hours later juggling the new beanbags. If she looks closely, she might see that he has what looks like a translucent third hand helping him, but it could just be the quality of these laptop cameras. Seems like he likes it though!]

MERR CRISIS

[endlesspastability]

[Sonic doesn't know where Taako lives. BUT HE FINDS SOMEONE WHO DOES. Or something. Whatever it's not creepy!!

Left outside his door is a comically oversized cowboy hat filled to the brim with candy and a few colorful sticky hands. There's also a card next to it!

"TO THE COOLEST GUY ON RYSLIG BESIDES ME

I didn't know what to get you but I figured everyone could use a giant hat. Happy nattenwhatever!!

BLUEBLUR69 (SONIC)"]

THIS SLAPS SO HARD

[pocketspa]

[Don't worry Sonic, he runs a fairly well-known farm with a spaceship on it, he doesn't exactly make himself scarce. He'll also be sure he got the right address because he'll get a selfie a few hours later of Taako wearing said oversized hat with his tongue out and giving a peace sign to the camera. You were so right, Sonic. Everybody needs a giant hat.]

<PunnyBone>

[lottabones]

Taako, I think I need your help.

I'm stuck in a cave until nighttime and I left all my supplies above ground.

There's nothing else here to help pass the time.

<coolertwin>

[pocketspa]

so do you mean that in a way like
youre bored and you need me to be super entertaining because im like that
or i have to come save you
because one of those is happening and the other is not and im preeeeeetty sure you know which is which

very backdated to July 7th

[waitingforplayer2]

[ On the morning of July 7th, the Farmblaster will receive a small package wrapped in pink paper. The note on the front reads HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAAKO-KUN! in a squiggly scrawl.

Inside are some freshly baked cookies! Some are chocolate chip, and some are sugar cookies, in case Taako doesn't like chocolate. ]

End of August

[missleadingquestions]

[True to her word, as August wanes, a pair of matching wide-brim hats appears at the farm. They are beeswax-sealed rattan hats with abalone seashell beads woven in beautiful loose spirals along the brim and up the pointed crowns. Small strings of tiny delicate shell seed beads and seed beads made from fish vertebrae hang from the brims, ending in angulate wentletrap shells, creating a pretty little veil. They are boxed delicately and carefully in lightweight satin and tissue paper, tied with two ammonite bolo ties that match as well as two separate fossils can.

Despite the fancy wrapping, they come with a card with a (surprisingly good) cartoon rendition of the twins that on the back simply says;

FOR THE BIRTHDAY BITCHES

as Maya has approximated that would be one of their most favorite greetings.]

[pocketspa]

[Maya you were 1000% right. The birthday bitches sign is getting framed on the wall for her to see if she ever comes over. Otherwise, she will get a gratuitous picture of the twins in their new hats and ties, cheesing it up and looking very pleased. Ya did good, girl, ya did so good.]