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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, TAAKO. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 420.87.169.02 * coolertwin has joined 420.87.169.02 <coolertwin> wait <coolertwin> waaaaait <coolertwin> waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait <coolertwin>** made ya look lol

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You are cold to the touch today.

Cool enough on this day that you render my undead fingers to ice.

It strikes me I have missed a week-end of coolness in this wretched existence. The slow disem-bark-ment is to blame. I am afraid I have no excuse otherwise. Too bad!

What is it that makes you the Cooler Snake and the snake woman the Lit one? The both of you are in the habit of, what is the term, 'lighting up.' Both metaphorically and literally, when your evening soirées feed the bonfires too high. You cannot hide that from me.

[help him, he's crying, please end this. it was one thing to get the first ones and lose it and another thing entirely to have this come in like three days later. h e l p.]

this is the best message i have ever gotten
im writing it in a cross stitch and framing it in the house
holy fuck

also shes the red one and im the blue one duh

Of course. The simplest common denominator wins the day. I see how it is. My words are hardly worth the commemoration. You are getting what you wanted, are you not? It is a service.

Edited 2021-07-19 14:44 (UTC)

i mean we could have done something boring like gender but theres like a lot of those so w/e

and dude do i have to spell it out for you
youre actually DOING it
youre an uptight fuck and yet i write something stupid down on paper and you just DO it like magic
its incredible
its like i know a secret superpower if i put an important looking memo on your desk asking you to check up your butt you might do it

Come now, that services no one in the town. I have the good sense when and when not to check my own orifices for sticks.

hhkhsdlfugjsa;lasjkdgh
ORIFICES
okay sir butthole ill be sure to know you have it marked on your cal already to make sure nothing got shoved in there when you werent paying attention

Don't subject my assistants to your nonsense. They manage the calendars, not myself.

i will subject every single person in your vicinity to whatever nonsense i please and there is nothing you can do to stop me
and you know this
and cannot change it

Don't test me.

i would love nothing more than for you to waste your time trying to stop me from doing whatever ive decided to do that day to annoy the piss out of you

I have my methods. :) My time is scarce, but there is an eternity of it to spend. It would surprise you how much I can tuck in to one week, when my priorities are all in line. But you, now! You have a farming estate to fix up. How much did those fanatics ransack in your absence, I wonder?

oh my god
a rare emoji from the ass stick master
i will treasure this gift like fantasy gollum
but fine fine ill get back to my cleaning like fantasy cinderella or whatever but im gonna tell everyone that you gave me a smiley face you cant take it back now

Ah, come now, that isn't news. You have been out of touch for too long, my good man. I've learnt those emotion-symbols long ago. You ought to see the codebook I keep for myself.

you
you had to write them down
like a guide

dude,,,

Of course. They are the equivalent of a code language. Argot. Slang, if you will.

yknow theres a famous quote that i made up at some point that im pretty sure is truth is stranger than fiction
im gonna make another one now
and its truth is dorkier than any lie i could make up
because holy hell
youre a nerd
i gonna give you a noogie next time i see you

You won't be given the opportunity. And, I will tell you, I'm not a clown, Snake. I am unpleasant, but I disagree that I am comically so.

[That is the definition of a nerd, right? -- A 'comically unpleasant person'?]

javvy
baby
i know sometimes you need to be reminded of this stuff
but that was a joke
this thing i am doing right now is joking
dont tell me you need a pocket guide for that

also a nerd is someone who loves studying and learning things where the fuck did you hear the other thing

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Dated the day after gardening, let's say mid-June around the 15th 1/?

Dated 6/16 2/?

Post-Tree, 6/22, 3/?

6/23 4/4

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