[ Look, out of all her options right now... It was either deal with a child for an extended period of time, the woman she also ate in the previous world, or Taako who she only ate in a dream. She'd take the latter.
Besides, it's not like they have to talk about it. The point of getting stoned right now is to not think or talk about anything that might make her potentially more vulnerable than she's already feeling. She can sense that Taako is the same kind of way, so- It'll be fine, probably. A chill time. She hopes. ]
por que no los dos, my amigo go big or go home etc. do you wanna do this at my place or urs or somewhere in-between i got roommates but they're (probably) cool but maybe not THAT cool idk it's been a while since I lived with people probably better to not
[Oh yeah. They can totally do this. He's more than capable of getting high and not discussing emotions, totally.
... Totally.]
done and done and uhhh if you wanna come over here you might hafta share i live with like six people and split my room w my sis actually this is probably not a good idea theres a child next door hes gotta wait till hes a teen for drugs
orchard mayb?????? or theres like that tree group at the end of the river
[Meanwhile, by the time Rosie arrives, Taako's 'hey I can make one thing' looks like it's turned into a full-out picnic. There's a blanket spread out across the ground and it looks like he even brought a pillow to stare up at the cave ceiling. Alongside are three different containers, with sealed lids on top. He stirs a bit when he hears her coming, a long ear twitching her direction, before he gives a lazy salute.]
[ She makes it a point to be noisy upon entrance. The blond doesn't do well being snuck up on so the least she can do is the same courtesy for others. Also, she dream tore out this dude's throat so she's not going to try and spook him anytime soon. Everything... seems amicable enough right now, at least.
Hopefully it stays that way. ]
Already rolled and ready, dude, [ she responds, plopping down next to him and passing a joint his way immediately. There was just enough to spare for one for each of them, packed with enough for two people because look. She's not new to this. ]
[He pulls himself into a cross-legged sitting position, taking the joint from her hands. This isn't weird. He's going to like, aggressively make this not weird. Fuck it. He rests the end of the joint in his mouth and snaps his fingers, conjuring a small flame sitting on top of his pointer finger. He lights his, and extends his hand near her if she doesn't want to dig out some sort of lighter. Whether she does or not, he takes a long drag, holding it for a few seconds before a long exhale.]
[ That's a good mantra to have. One that Rose shares herself, even as she lights up in kind and takes as long a drag as humanly possible. She's been doing this a bit too much lately and it shows. The blond doesn't even so much as flinch let alone cough and holds in the smoke nice and long before blowing out a slow cloud. Maybe in a little bit she'll feel ambitious and try smoke rings. ]
Right, dude? It's awesome. I can't believe people didn't think of this sooner.
[He shakes his finger a bit as soon as she's lit, putting out the flame with just a moment of smoke. Taako takes the opportunity to flop down on his back, keeping the joint tight in his fingers as he makes himself comfortable. Yep, this'll be fine. He can do this.]
It's because people... are wrong. Also, probably asking the wrong dude.
[He takes another long inhale, and Rosie can see the way his ears droop when he stops holding the smoke.]
Out of all the assholes in charge, Tranquility probably sucks the least. Or at least he's given my ass the most outta this whole deal.
[ It's funny, she thinks, the way his ears droop. Hers probably would be too if she were in her yokai form; if she gets high enough, her concentration might be hard enough to maintain that he'll see it. She's never actually gotten that high yet but
she might as well try. ]
Sorrow's always been good to me, [ she says. Then, after a beat adds, ] Or maybe I'm just a masochist so it works out.
[He knows this isn't necessarily her regular self; unless her fantasy self is all wolfish, her teeth just aren't sharp 24/7. He can't necessarily blame her. If he looked like he could kill someone with his teeth he probably wouldn't want to all the time either.
Then again, his outlandish wizard garb would put the fear of death into plenty of people. But he works pretty hard to be sure that's not the immediate case.]
Eeh, I've seen worse. I mean, I'm in on that whole tall dark and handsome thing? But he just does not play along with the joke, which kinda kills the uh, the whole vibe. I don't do the chase after guys thing, I make guys chase after me.
[Which is all a joke seeing as he has a boyfriend. Not that he thinks if he found some really attractive guy he could con into a threesome that Kravitz wouldn't be down. Long story.]
[ So does Rose. Unfortunately, that's not working out for her so well these days. Only so much you can do when you're a literal monster, she supposes... ]
I've never been able to do that, [ she admits, folding her arms behind her head and leaning back to lay on the blanket. ] Just never had that oomph, really.
[ She remembers all the guys she pined for in Haven and how none of them had worked out. It was always someone else or not the right time or... One was fifteen, which. She felt very deceived, she'll have you know. ]
[He flops backwards, head propped up as he takes another long drag. Yes, okay, he's hitting it real heavy for someone who hasn't smoked in 6 months, but he wants to go straight from this cave to fuckin' space. He starts his next sentence on the exhale, flicking the joint a bit in his fingers.]
The trick is, you just go in and take what you want. You see somethin' you like, you go for it. Don't wait for the world to hand you shit.
[Morals, who's that, he doesn't know her.]
Take everything your gay little hands can carry. Boys, money, clothes, ect. Ya dig?
[ Meanwhile, Rose is taking things slow and steady to win this race. Not that she... thinks it is a race or is too keen on 'winning' these days.
Still. What he's saying, it makes sense. To a degree. ]
I did that with Faith, [ she admits. ] Before, I just... never knew what to do? I'd just kind of like people and not say anything and think they probaly deserved better than me anyway.
But then she came along and. I don't know, dude. I didn't want to let that pass by like the rest.
[ Like a silk moth drawn to phoenix flame, Rose was smitten. She's had plenty of time to get over that loss and move on but she'll always remember. ]
But it blew up in my face and now I feel like I'm back to square one.
[Usually, this is not a conversation he'd be interested in having. Especially with someone where his primary memory of them is getting his throat ripped out. But he's not giving in to that. He's here to get really blasted and talk about how great he is and... I dunno, nowadays, it's looking like giving good advice. Or bad advice. High advice?
He's thinking too hard about this.]
So who cares, right? All that shit about relationships making you whole, or whatever? It's crap. If they don't want you, who needs 'em.
[Which is... getting hard to believe when he has a boyfriend who freely says how much he loves him. Still doesn't really know how to process that one.]
You've probably got like, skills 'n stuff. And if all else fails, now we have this, so now I don't need feelings.
[He tips his hand with the joint in it like a weird toast to no one in particular.]
[ It's not one Rose would be interested in having either but something about smoking makes her just a bit more loose-tongued than usual. The devil's lettuce makes her get more in touch with her feelings, apparently, not less. Or maybe it detaches her from the actual emotion and allows her to talk more freely about it all?
Who fucking knows, man. She takes another long drag off her joint after 'toasting' as well, this time toying with making smoke rings when she inhales. She's not very good at it but definitely gotten better. ]
If only it made nightmares go away, [ she says idly, thinking about what he is despite her best attempts not to. ] That'd be nice, right?
[ They could forget about what happened in the dreamscape or at least not care. Even blazed out of her mind, Rose wishes she could not care about the fact that she tore out his throat and left him for dead in the horrors of her sleeping mind. ]
[Honestly, it's been so long since Taako's been able to let loose that it might actually be lowering something. Or at least it's making him less willing to get off this increasingly comfortable blanket and pillow and leave this conversation, so he guesses he has to keep having it.
He sits up just a bit, blowing some of the smoke into his hand and shaping it with Prestidigitation, idly not thinking about what he's making. It shifts, between a sphere, into a duck, into a heart-- which he then closes his hand over, the smoke escaping through his fingers.]
You have absolutely no idea, buddy.
[He's silent, a few more moments. He could just not do this. He could just-- be decent to himself and ignore this and get blasted and stumble home to consume all the food located there. But he doesn't. He rolls over on his side, shuffles around for the tupperware he brought, and pops one open to fish out a brownie, not looking at her as he speaks.]
Y'know, that whole fight arena thing isn't nearly the worst thing I've dreamt up. Did not register a major event on the Taako scale of brain garbage. If you're beating yourself up about it.
[ That's... It doesn't actually do a lot to clear her conscience but she appreciates it all the same. Rose continues to stare at the ceiling of the cave contemplatively as she considers his words. ]
Wasn't a dream, [ she decides to finally say. Just like him, she's weighing the pros and cons of saying anything at all. But, what the hell. He deserves to know after living her nightmare. ] I mean, you being there was but... That was my life for a while.
[ Not a very good way to live, she knows. Still. He's apparently been through worse, which. Rose isn't sure if that makes all this worse or better. Her bet's on the former. ]
So don't worry, I'm not beating myself up over you just... Was a bad time, dude. Super bad. Really fucking bad. Can't change it though.
[He hums around the brownie in his mouth, shifting in a little wiggling motion to get comfortable again. Everyone's got demons behind them. He knows he does. Yeah, it wasn't a deathmatch ring, but as a nightmare it's not as horrifying. His night terrors are worse. Plenty of ones he was forced into during that event were worse. Even now, he grinds his teeth a bit too hard for what he's eating thinking about Lup's incorporeal form hovering over him while he cried, nails digging bloody scratches into his arms. Could have been worse. He's lived worse.]
I mean yeah, as a life, it sucks. But you made it, right?
[He sucks in another puff, exhaling slowly into a billowing cloud.]
Y'do what it takes to survive. I get that. Just another day in the shitshow.
[He could have killed her. Should have. He had impossibly powerful spells, could have disintegrated her entirely and it would have been over. But he doesn't say that.
If he's lucky, she already knows, and understands that he showed mercy.]
You make the best with what you got, yeah. At least that's what I try to do.
[ It can hard though sometimes. Especially when it feels like what she has can only be used against her, can only make the wounds re-open and fester painfully. For as much as she understands the gods and is behind them in ways not many people would be, she can't help but harbor a little resentment for the way their emotions can be changed on a whim. How things so unassuming as dreams can be used to hurt her even more than they already do. As if she didn't have enough nightmares about the things she's done, now they gotta' include other people too.
Not fucking cool.
And she does know because she would have killed him too or died trying. Despite how much she claims she isn't that person anymore, it was frightening just how fast she'd snapped back into the mentality. How it was her or him and in the moment of that snap decision she still chose herself. ]
It is. Sorry though, still. It's... Don't need to make it worse, y'know? We all got enough shit to deal with as is.
[Liar, some part of him thinks, as he raises the joint to his mouth again. Liar, you woke up coughing from how hard you were gripping your own throat. Liar, you crawled into your sister's bed for the rest of the night but did not sleep. Liar, she asked about the bruises in the morning and you had no answer.
He exhales thick, a cloud from a slack jaw.]
If I really, uh, held it against you, don't think I'd be here putting a delay on my spellcasting time like this in some secluded area with sweets I took the time to make. Which uh, speaking of, eat something, they're fuckin' rad and gonna be super gone in 20 min whether you do or not, so.
[ Liar, even Rose thinks. But only because she would be saying the same thing if she were in his position. She has been. She has spoken those words too.
The woman inhales deeply on her next hit and holds it until her lungs feel like they're on fire. Until the sensation is so similar to drowning that she can't stand it. Rose always found it ironic, really, that such icy water felt like it was burning her lungs from the inside out. When she exhales, it isn't without a hearty cough or two. ]
So we're cool? [ she finally asks, reaching over to take a brownie. It won't taste any good. That's not his fault, it's Kite's. Still. That's not a secret he needs to know just yet. Rose thinks they've covered plenty this lazy afternoon. ]
[He replies without looking at her. He doesn't owe her-- anything, really, no nugget of truth, no moments of wisdom from the truth of his life. Saying it makes it true. So he won't.
It's fine.]
Seriously, though, i'unno why you're so worried about me. Like I was gonna drag you out here to hunt you down for dream crimes.
[ It's better than Rose had hoped for. Not the brownie, that's- It goes down the same as everything, ashen and will sit like lead on her stomach for days to come. But that's a small price to pay for this time, this opportunity. ]
People have hunted me down for less, dude. Not that I thought you would, I just- I don't wanna' be that monster to people if I can help it. Spent a long time trying to avoid it.
[ Haven was a hiccup but she's done a lot better since then. ]
[He rolls his eyes a bit, but everything's starting to get that fuzzy look as he inhales deep. Thank god, it's about time he started feeling it.]
I mean, yeah, if you're runnin' around with claws n' shit, people might get the wrong idea. But the world as a whole? Also kinda sucks. So most shit can be attributed to that.
[He takes a bite of another brownie and lays his head back.]
Man I make good fucking brownies. Fuck. Someone hire me to be a pastry chef, fuck adventuring, this is all I wanna do effectively forever.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
text;
Besides, it's not like they have to talk about it. The point of getting stoned right now is to not think or talk about anything that might make her potentially more vulnerable than she's already feeling. She can sense that Taako is the same kind of way, so- It'll be fine, probably. A chill time. She hopes. ]
por que no los dos, my amigo
go big or go home etc.
do you wanna do this at my place or urs or somewhere in-between
i got roommates but they're (probably) cool
but maybe not THAT cool idk it's been a while since I lived with people
probably better to not
text;
... Totally.]
done and done
and uhhh if you wanna come over here you might hafta share
i live with like six people and split my room w my sis
actually this is probably not a good idea theres a child next door
hes gotta wait till hes a teen for drugs
orchard mayb??????
or theres like that tree group at the end of the river
text;
practically my second home these days anyway
[ Totally. It'll be cool. They'll be fine.
Or so she tells herself on the trek over there. ]
text; --> action
see ya in a few
[Meanwhile, by the time Rosie arrives, Taako's 'hey I can make one thing' looks like it's turned into a full-out picnic. There's a blanket spread out across the ground and it looks like he even brought a pillow to stare up at the cave ceiling. Alongside are three different containers, with sealed lids on top. He stirs a bit when he hears her coming, a long ear twitching her direction, before he gives a lazy salute.]
Hail and well met, my dude. You got the goods?
action
Hopefully it stays that way. ]
Already rolled and ready, dude, [ she responds, plopping down next to him and passing a joint his way immediately. There was just enough to spare for one for each of them, packed with enough for two people because look. She's not new to this. ]
action
[He pulls himself into a cross-legged sitting position, taking the joint from her hands. This isn't weird. He's going to like, aggressively make this not weird. Fuck it. He rests the end of the joint in his mouth and snaps his fingers, conjuring a small flame sitting on top of his pointer finger. He lights his, and extends his hand near her if she doesn't want to dig out some sort of lighter. Whether she does or not, he takes a long drag, holding it for a few seconds before a long exhale.]
Fuck yes.
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Right, dude? It's awesome. I can't believe people didn't think of this sooner.
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It's because people... are wrong. Also, probably asking the wrong dude.
[He takes another long inhale, and Rosie can see the way his ears droop when he stops holding the smoke.]
Out of all the assholes in charge, Tranquility probably sucks the least. Or at least he's given my ass the most outta this whole deal.
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she might as well try. ]
Sorrow's always been good to me, [ she says. Then, after a beat adds, ] Or maybe I'm just a masochist so it works out.
[ Another noticeable pause. ]
It also helps that he's extremely hot.
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Then again, his outlandish wizard garb would put the fear of death into plenty of people. But he works pretty hard to be sure that's not the immediate case.]
Eeh, I've seen worse. I mean, I'm in on that whole tall dark and handsome thing? But he just does not play along with the joke, which kinda kills the uh, the whole vibe. I don't do the chase after guys thing, I make guys chase after me.
[Which is all a joke seeing as he has a boyfriend. Not that he thinks if he found some really attractive guy he could con into a threesome that Kravitz wouldn't be down. Long story.]
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I've never been able to do that, [ she admits, folding her arms behind her head and leaning back to lay on the blanket. ] Just never had that oomph, really.
[ She remembers all the guys she pined for in Haven and how none of them had worked out. It was always someone else or not the right time or... One was fifteen, which. She felt very deceived, she'll have you know. ]
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The trick is, you just go in and take what you want. You see somethin' you like, you go for it. Don't wait for the world to hand you shit.
[Morals, who's that, he doesn't know her.]
Take everything your gay little hands can carry. Boys, money, clothes, ect. Ya dig?
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Still. What he's saying, it makes sense. To a degree. ]
I did that with Faith, [ she admits. ] Before, I just... never knew what to do? I'd just kind of like people and not say anything and think they probaly deserved better than me anyway.
But then she came along and. I don't know, dude. I didn't want to let that pass by like the rest.
[ Like a silk moth drawn to phoenix flame, Rose was smitten. She's had plenty of time to get over that loss and move on but she'll always remember. ]
But it blew up in my face and now I feel like I'm back to square one.
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He's thinking too hard about this.]
So who cares, right? All that shit about relationships making you whole, or whatever? It's crap. If they don't want you, who needs 'em.
[Which is... getting hard to believe when he has a boyfriend who freely says how much he loves him. Still doesn't really know how to process that one.]
You've probably got like, skills 'n stuff. And if all else fails, now we have this, so now I don't need feelings.
[He tips his hand with the joint in it like a weird toast to no one in particular.]
no subject
Who fucking knows, man. She takes another long drag off her joint after 'toasting' as well, this time toying with making smoke rings when she inhales. She's not very good at it but definitely gotten better. ]
If only it made nightmares go away, [ she says idly, thinking about what he is despite her best attempts not to. ] That'd be nice, right?
[ They could forget about what happened in the dreamscape or at least not care. Even blazed out of her mind, Rose wishes she could not care about the fact that she tore out his throat and left him for dead in the horrors of her sleeping mind. ]
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He sits up just a bit, blowing some of the smoke into his hand and shaping it with Prestidigitation, idly not thinking about what he's making. It shifts, between a sphere, into a duck, into a heart-- which he then closes his hand over, the smoke escaping through his fingers.]
You have absolutely no idea, buddy.
[He's silent, a few more moments. He could just not do this. He could just-- be decent to himself and ignore this and get blasted and stumble home to consume all the food located there. But he doesn't. He rolls over on his side, shuffles around for the tupperware he brought, and pops one open to fish out a brownie, not looking at her as he speaks.]
Y'know, that whole fight arena thing isn't nearly the worst thing I've dreamt up. Did not register a major event on the Taako scale of brain garbage. If you're beating yourself up about it.
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Wasn't a dream, [ she decides to finally say. Just like him, she's weighing the pros and cons of saying anything at all. But, what the hell. He deserves to know after living her nightmare. ] I mean, you being there was but... That was my life for a while.
[ Not a very good way to live, she knows. Still. He's apparently been through worse, which. Rose isn't sure if that makes all this worse or better. Her bet's on the former. ]
So don't worry, I'm not beating myself up over you just... Was a bad time, dude. Super bad. Really fucking bad. Can't change it though.
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I mean yeah, as a life, it sucks. But you made it, right?
[He sucks in another puff, exhaling slowly into a billowing cloud.]
Y'do what it takes to survive. I get that. Just another day in the shitshow.
[He could have killed her. Should have. He had impossibly powerful spells, could have disintegrated her entirely and it would have been over. But he doesn't say that.
If he's lucky, she already knows, and understands that he showed mercy.]
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[ It can hard though sometimes. Especially when it feels like what she has can only be used against her, can only make the wounds re-open and fester painfully. For as much as she understands the gods and is behind them in ways not many people would be, she can't help but harbor a little resentment for the way their emotions can be changed on a whim. How things so unassuming as dreams can be used to hurt her even more than they already do. As if she didn't have enough nightmares about the things she's done, now they gotta' include other people too.
Not fucking cool.
And she does know because she would have killed him too or died trying. Despite how much she claims she isn't that person anymore, it was frightening just how fast she'd snapped back into the mentality. How it was her or him and in the moment of that snap decision she still chose herself. ]
It is. Sorry though, still. It's... Don't need to make it worse, y'know? We all got enough shit to deal with as is.
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[Liar, some part of him thinks, as he raises the joint to his mouth again. Liar, you woke up coughing from how hard you were gripping your own throat. Liar, you crawled into your sister's bed for the rest of the night but did not sleep. Liar, she asked about the bruises in the morning and you had no answer.
He exhales thick, a cloud from a slack jaw.]
If I really, uh, held it against you, don't think I'd be here putting a delay on my spellcasting time like this in some secluded area with sweets I took the time to make. Which uh, speaking of, eat something, they're fuckin' rad and gonna be super gone in 20 min whether you do or not, so.
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The woman inhales deeply on her next hit and holds it until her lungs feel like they're on fire. Until the sensation is so similar to drowning that she can't stand it. Rose always found it ironic, really, that such icy water felt like it was burning her lungs from the inside out. When she exhales, it isn't without a hearty cough or two. ]
So we're cool? [ she finally asks, reaching over to take a brownie. It won't taste any good. That's not his fault, it's Kite's. Still. That's not a secret he needs to know just yet. Rose thinks they've covered plenty this lazy afternoon. ]
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[He replies without looking at her. He doesn't owe her-- anything, really, no nugget of truth, no moments of wisdom from the truth of his life. Saying it makes it true. So he won't.
It's fine.]
Seriously, though, i'unno why you're so worried about me. Like I was gonna drag you out here to hunt you down for dream crimes.
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People have hunted me down for less, dude. Not that I thought you would, I just- I don't wanna' be that monster to people if I can help it. Spent a long time trying to avoid it.
[ Haven was a hiccup but she's done a lot better since then. ]
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I mean, yeah, if you're runnin' around with claws n' shit, people might get the wrong idea. But the world as a whole? Also kinda sucks. So most shit can be attributed to that.
[He takes a bite of another brownie and lays his head back.]
Man I make good fucking brownies. Fuck. Someone hire me to be a pastry chef, fuck adventuring, this is all I wanna do effectively forever.
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Most of the time. Maybe that's why she's still so here, still so raw.
Who knnows. ]
I don't, usually. I didn't for a long time. Just tried to live my life, y'know? Guess that's not allowed for monsters like me.
[ It sounds biting because it is. Rose is only slightly bitter, really. ]
I don't know though. World's not all bad. We're in it, aren't we? And with kickass brownies.
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