[It's less that he isn't willing to talk about it with her-- the fact he's talking at all, and only to her, is important-- but he just doesn't have the words. He doesn't know what to say. For Taako, who tries to know himself to bullshit even harder, he doesn't know how to even describe these feelings.
But he listens, doesn't move, stays close. And finally, when she comes in close to his nose, he looks up and into her eyes. It takes him a moment where he opens his mouth to speak and hesitates. And then, tries again.]
... Yeah. Yeah, I...
[Taako feels like he's being choked, like his heart's going to thrum out of his chest. How does he deal with this. How does anyone deal with this.]
You... know I've never been good at that. Letting people get... close, and.
[And care about you, he thinks, because if people really gave a shit they'd stick around, right, and it's only been her, but Kravitz keeps coming back and trying so hard and all Taako has ever done is make it harder and harder and harder.]
I don't want to lose him. And I could, and. Ugh, I feel like a fucking idiot. He'd probably just laugh at me if I said this, except no he wouldn't, he'd do something fuckin' sweet like hug me and I'd just die immediately.
[Lup reaches up to tuck a piece of her brother's hair behind his long ear, her smile uncharacteristically soft, as if she's trying to tamper down on her usual all-knowing sharpness. It doesn't completely succeed, but the warm love in her gaze for her twin makes up for it.]
Oh, I know, nerd. Maybe we should put Kravitz through the whole Starblaster experience. Make him move in with us, force him to interact with Merle an' Mango an' Barold all day, every day for like ten years straight. Then we'll see where you stand.
[Hard to not let folks in after that experience. Lup and Taako know that best from experience.
It feels like Lup is all teasing, but that's only because she finally gets to experience what it feels like on the other side of this, where she gets to watch her brother pine like the useless gay he is, for as long as he possibly can get away with it. Lucky for him, this is exactly what sisters are for. She won't let him waste away in his feelings for fifty years. Instead, she's going to bully her sibling into doing all of the things he absolutely doesn't want to. Like telling his boyfriend of a year just how very into him he is.]
You don't wanna lose him, so then put up a little fight. You can't have it both ways, son. There's just no way to keep the guy at arms length and keep him close. So fuckin' act like the greatest damn wizard to ever live, grow a pair, and go smooch your bee-eef's brains out already.
- Or do I gotta play the role of Taako this evening and confess your undying love for the dead man for you?
[Gods, the thought of him moving in, of being that close, makes his heart seize somewhere. It's not like Kravitz hasn't seen any aspect of Taako he leaves in his house, the messy mornings, the long limbed stretches where he takes up the entire couch, the days he doesn't do his hair and makeup and just stays in with a book. But she's right. He can't keep-- keeping Kravitz away. If he's ever going to lose him, it'll be because he doesn't know enough.
And oof, that's-- eugh. A lot, frankly. But there's only so long you can run from anything before you teeter off an edge.
At least a bit of it breaks when she makes the last suggestion and he immediately makes a face that's one part scared one part horrified and shoves his hands into her stomach.]
Oh my god, no, fuck off. I don't even think you could, he's gotten like, good at telling us apart, which is a whole other thing, honestly.
[Another thing that means a lot to him. That he can bother to see Taako, that while Lup has Barry he has something in turn that's his.]
I just kinda thought this was gonna be it, y'know? Like, are normal dudes like this? You tell them you're gonna stab them and they just smile at you?? Did we pick, uh, fuckin' crazies or what?
[He still isn't gonna make like... a day of it. It might not even be soon. But it's in his head, something he'll think about every time their hands meet as time climbs on.]
[Lup only laughs at the shove, hands already flying to Taako's side, calloused fingertips dancing up along his middle to tickle him wickedly in retaliation. It feels good, better, to be like this. Pressing close to one another and laughing, feeling their hearts lift as one together. Taako can take things with Kravitz at his own pace, but if he needs a little shove in the right direction, Lup is there to guide him.]
Don't even, Taako! You know I won't be able to resist a challenge like that! You're just askin' for me to bring my A-game an' get bone boy to eat outta the palm of my hand. Don't think I won't!
[Cause she will. Oh boy, will Lup ever.]
An' c'mon, boys are weird. You know this. We're hot enough that most of 'em will do anythin' we ask. Barry an' Krav aren't that crazy, just devoted. [Or whipped. Either or.]
Good friggin' luck! Your imitation of me is so shit, he'd see right through it.
[They breathe out in unison, catching themselves after all of that laughter, Lup's breath coming out in a soft wheeze. She catches the timed rise of their shoulders and smiles, softer but still as infectiously happy, the tension she'd had along her shoulders when she first walked into their room completely gone.]
I know, babe. I know. Just sit on it, alright? No one's gonna push you to do shit. Just think on it. Don't keep pushin' that shit away. Give it some proper thought. [And with her hands clasped in his, Lup can't do much but lean forward, pressing a peck of a kiss to his nose, teasing.]
You have like, a month before I start perfectin' my Taako.
[Look who's talking! They are both messes. Complete, beautiful messes. But at least they can be messy together.]
Right? How gay is that?
[But Lup can sense the shift in her twin's tone, the way he wants to leave this conversation as is and move on. She knows that he'll give what she's said today some real thought, and if he's still struggling over the next month or so, they can revisit this topic. Together.
Without much warning, Lup sweeps in and presses a quick, slightly messy kiss to Taako's cheek, before she's untangling herself from him, leaving only a single hand twined with his which she tugs forward.]
Gods, you are such a mess without me. How do you even manage without my gorg face here to guide you? C'mon, babe, it's time to chow down.
[Hand in hand, Lup guides her twin out of their bedroom, pausing in her stride only to shoot him a grin from over her shoulder. Whatever happens next, whatever steps Taako chooses to take or not, she'll always be right here at his side, supporting him to the end.]
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But he listens, doesn't move, stays close. And finally, when she comes in close to his nose, he looks up and into her eyes. It takes him a moment where he opens his mouth to speak and hesitates. And then, tries again.]
... Yeah. Yeah, I...
[Taako feels like he's being choked, like his heart's going to thrum out of his chest. How does he deal with this. How does anyone deal with this.]
You... know I've never been good at that. Letting people get... close, and.
[And care about you, he thinks, because if people really gave a shit they'd stick around, right, and it's only been her, but Kravitz keeps coming back and trying so hard and all Taako has ever done is make it harder and harder and harder.]
I don't want to lose him. And I could, and. Ugh, I feel like a fucking idiot. He'd probably just laugh at me if I said this, except no he wouldn't, he'd do something fuckin' sweet like hug me and I'd just die immediately.
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Oh, I know, nerd. Maybe we should put Kravitz through the whole Starblaster experience. Make him move in with us, force him to interact with Merle an' Mango an' Barold all day, every day for like ten years straight. Then we'll see where you stand.
[Hard to not let folks in after that experience. Lup and Taako know that best from experience.
It feels like Lup is all teasing, but that's only because she finally gets to experience what it feels like on the other side of this, where she gets to watch her brother pine like the useless gay he is, for as long as he possibly can get away with it. Lucky for him, this is exactly what sisters are for. She won't let him waste away in his feelings for fifty years. Instead, she's going to bully her sibling into doing all of the things he absolutely doesn't want to. Like telling his boyfriend of a year just how very into him he is.]
You don't wanna lose him, so then put up a little fight. You can't have it both ways, son. There's just no way to keep the guy at arms length and keep him close. So fuckin' act like the greatest damn wizard to ever live, grow a pair, and go smooch your bee-eef's brains out already.
- Or do I gotta play the role of Taako this evening and confess your undying love for the dead man for you?
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And oof, that's-- eugh. A lot, frankly. But there's only so long you can run from anything before you teeter off an edge.
At least a bit of it breaks when she makes the last suggestion and he immediately makes a face that's one part scared one part horrified and shoves his hands into her stomach.]
Oh my god, no, fuck off. I don't even think you could, he's gotten like, good at telling us apart, which is a whole other thing, honestly.
[Another thing that means a lot to him. That he can bother to see Taako, that while Lup has Barry he has something in turn that's his.]
I just kinda thought this was gonna be it, y'know? Like, are normal dudes like this? You tell them you're gonna stab them and they just smile at you?? Did we pick, uh, fuckin' crazies or what?
[He still isn't gonna make like... a day of it. It might not even be soon. But it's in his head, something he'll think about every time their hands meet as time climbs on.]
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Don't even, Taako! You know I won't be able to resist a challenge like that! You're just askin' for me to bring my A-game an' get bone boy to eat outta the palm of my hand. Don't think I won't!
[Cause she will. Oh boy, will Lup ever.]
An' c'mon, boys are weird. You know this. We're hot enough that most of 'em will do anythin' we ask. Barry an' Krav aren't that crazy, just devoted. [Or whipped. Either or.]
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Don't you fucking dare, I will seduce Barold so hard, I'd get him out of his jeans before he even knew the diff.
[DON'T TRY HIM, DON'T EVEN START. But he breathes, tries to bring himself down.]
You know I'm not gonna do like, a whole thing, right? I'm not gonna go write him a sonnet or whatever. I'll just like-- I'll think about it.
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[They breathe out in unison, catching themselves after all of that laughter, Lup's breath coming out in a soft wheeze. She catches the timed rise of their shoulders and smiles, softer but still as infectiously happy, the tension she'd had along her shoulders when she first walked into their room completely gone.]
I know, babe. I know. Just sit on it, alright? No one's gonna push you to do shit. Just think on it. Don't keep pushin' that shit away. Give it some proper thought. [And with her hands clasped in his, Lup can't do much but lean forward, pressing a peck of a kiss to his nose, teasing.]
You have like, a month before I start perfectin' my Taako.
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Oh shut up. Don't go ganging up on me. He does enough dumb stupid stuff, obviously.
[He'll have to think of a way to pay it back to him. But not now, not when Lup's back and he's back and he wants to stay exactly right here.]
I can't believe he did my fucking hair. Idiot.
[Taako looks up towards her, finally flipping the braid back over his shoulder.]
You wanna get something to eat? I slept for like, 16 fucking hours. Starvingggg.
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Right? How gay is that?
[But Lup can sense the shift in her twin's tone, the way he wants to leave this conversation as is and move on. She knows that he'll give what she's said today some real thought, and if he's still struggling over the next month or so, they can revisit this topic. Together.
Without much warning, Lup sweeps in and presses a quick, slightly messy kiss to Taako's cheek, before she's untangling herself from him, leaving only a single hand twined with his which she tugs forward.]
Gods, you are such a mess without me. How do you even manage without my gorg face here to guide you? C'mon, babe, it's time to chow down.
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You're the fuckin' mess, you dirt goblin, get off my sheets.
[But he's following after her, not letting go of her hand.]
I haven't cooked in like, days so who knows what's in the fridge, but uh, we'll figure it out, 'kay?
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We always do.